“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” ―Peter F. Drucker
When men pull away from you, it surely is hurtful. You can feel angry and confused—or even both at the same time. This is, of course, normal especially when you thought things are getting serious between the two of you and that you are taking things to the next level already.
After a couple of date nights..spending time with each other and finally becoming intimate with him, he suddenly became cold and distant. What??? Is he serious?
Everything seems to be perfect, so what happened?
So, the questions are:
- Why do you think men pull away just when you thought things are becoming serious already?
- Why did you man suddenly become cold after you slept with him?
- Why did he leave you when all this time you though that he was THE ONE?
- Why did everything fall apart when you thought your relationship was for keeps.
These are just some of the most common questions that we will answer today. This article is still part of our “Why Men Pull Away?” series (go check the article “Why Men Pull Away From You Just When Things Start Heating Up” too because it may enlightened you also on why a budding relationship failed big time).
So, did you just come from failed a relationship? Wait, was it really a serious one when it unexpectedly ended just after an intimate night?
If you are still confused on what really happened between you and your man who suddenly became distant and cold, then this article is for you.
Today, we will discuss and digest thoroughly some of the most usual reasons why men pull away after you slept with him.
1) The very first possible reason is that he is afraid of commitments. Of course, we cannot generalize, but this happen to often that it is safe to say that a lot of men have commitments issues one way or another. So you might say, why all of a sudden? Well, let’s be honest, sexual intimacy, for most, has a notion of seriousness. It can deepen the bond of two persons in a relationship. For some men, it can be a warning…an alarm. To make it easier for you to understand, here are some of the things that men may feel or think after you spend time with him:
“It’s nice. What a great time!….Oh no, she feels want a serious relationship…wrong move….not yet ready to commit….so on and so forth.”
Do you understand it better now? Some men cannot stand the feeling of being committed to someone. While you may feel that things are getting serious between the both of you, your man may feel that he needs to turn around when things become pretty serious.
Wait, don’t judge him right away and tag him as a player (even if this is highly likely). He might just be feeling afraid that he will not be able to give you what you need. You know…the love, time and commitment that you deserve. Yes it all boils down to commitment too, but it is a totally different scenario when he is just really a player who already got what he wants from you.
To put this into perspective, a lot of men feel that commitment is a burden. While he may enjoy it for some time, it can still consume their energy. When this happens, he will pull away to bring back his freedom and to get away from the suffocation that he is feeling. Let’s just say that this is a manly urge.
2) You just gave in too fast. A lot of men likes to be challenged and if you made him feel that there is no more challenge for him to get you, then this is where the problem comes in. You might be thinking, “so when should you give in?” Well, there is really no one concrete answer for that. It will all depend on you and your partner. If you need some more suggestions, you may check out my article “To Have or Not To Have Sex on the First Date” for more tips.
3) As tactless this may seem to be, you may not be very good in bed. Brutal, yes, honest too. As you may know by now, men need to satisfy their sexual fantasies. I am not saying here that you are totally bad in bed, but let’s just say that you are not what he is looking for. Well, if this is all what he is after, then you definitely need to find another good man who will appreciate you more in and and out of the bedroom.
4) He’s no longer attracted to you. I can hear you saying: “What? Is that even possible? Just after we spent lovely nights together? You must be kidding me, right?”
Well–no. Men and women are not the same. For one, women are more emotional and romantic, waiting for their prince to come. For men, this not the case. He may be attracted to you today and not tomorrow.
Do you understand what what I mean? Attraction is not constant especially for men. Attraction may be there one minute and lost in another. That’s life, so that’s something we should deal with.
Women and men are not the same. This is an important point that I want to reiterate. We feel different feelings and emotions. We see things differently, most of the time. Because of this, it will be unfair to totally just jump into conclusion why the relationship didn’t last the way you would want it to.
A relationship is a work in progress. It is very difficult to dwell in complacency in just about any level especially during the earlier parts of it. Aside from love, there should be commitment. If this commitment is one-sided already, then you should not be surprised anymore that your man is walking out the door just when you thought things are going to the next level for the both of you.