“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves.” -Greg Behrendt
As a continuation of our “Why Men Pull Away” series, we will now delve more on the reasons why men seem to be suddenly distant during the early stages of dating as well as during the time when things get a little more serious.
First of all, can I guess what’s on your mind at this very moment?
I am guessing that you are thinking of how unpredictable, sometimes unreasonable, (but very loving) men are especially during the early stages of a budding relationship. So what happened with you and your man along the way?
Was it bad timing?
Was it your fault?
Was it his fault?
Was he not just into you?
Should you have tried a little more?
Well, we cannot know for sure. That’s right! We will not know unless he tells you personally what’s the real reason.
So, you may say, what’s this article for, right?
To answer your question this article will shed light on the possible reasons why your men pull away after you two were seem to be a perfect match. This article will help you choose what good move to make after your man become suddenly cold towards you. I cannot guarantee that you will win him back, but at least, you will know your best next move (if you will go after him, then good for you!).
If you are ready let’s start listing down the reasons why the relationship was cut-off unexpectedly.
- During the time you were with him, what did you do? This is the first thing that you should ask yourself. In the few weeks or months that you two were dating, was it all about YOU? If your answer to this question is yes, then the possible reason behind the failed relationship is your narcissistic side. Maybe, your man is fed up of you being the center of attention in your own world. What you need to remember is that relationships should be a two-way process. It’s all about give and take, not take and take, alright?
- You talked about settling down right away. Who’s guilty? Truth be told, most women are hopeless romantics. Women love to daydream of ending up with the perfect man who will sweep them off their feet. Sorry to burst your bubble, but during the early stages of dating, it may seem inappropriate to talk about marriage. Your man may feel that it is too early to discuss something as important as marriage if all they are thinking about is finding a girlfriend. Don’t worry girls, if everything goes well, you are heading that direction, that is, if you can keep your man with you.
- Another possible reason is that you are taking everything too fast. While you may not talk about getting married, maybe you talk about the future very often that can make your man feel everything is moving too fast. Let’s relate your relationship with driving a car. What would you rather do? Over speed and take your chances of getting into an accident OR take it slowly and enjoy the sceneries around you? It’s up to you.
- There is not enough flirting between you too (please check out our article about flirting). Flirting with someone you are going out with is normal….and fun. If you tend to be serious most of the time, you will look boring, and well, uninteresting. So, do not be afraid to have fun and flirt once in a while to add spice to a developing relationship.
- You are suffocating. You’re saying that you’re not? Well, who are you kidding? Most of the time, you may feel that you are not very clingy, but the truth is, you are not giving the space that your man needs. This is especially important when you are in the early stages of dating. Since you are still getting to know each other on a deeper level, it is not advisable to become very close to the point that you are not giving him space anymore. Your actions will show your man the prelude of what the relationship will be like.
- You are totally polar opposites. I honestly do not believe that opposites attract all the time. For some, this may hold some truth to it, but for me, especially during the time when you are still getting to know each other, certain similarities will help you to build a better relationship. Familiarity is important. You need to have similarities in order to have a base from where you will start to become closer to each other. If this is not present, it will be more or less, a long shot.
- He realized that you are not doing him any good. Yes, this may be harsh, but this is also a possible reason why your man suddenly had a change of heart. Or maybe, he realized that you two are better off as friends. This is of course a better scenario since you have not yet invested too much of your time and emotions yet during the earlier stages of dating.
- You are not his type. Let’s be honest and brutal here. During the early stages of dating, men and women are trying hard to impress each other, this is usually the case. No matter how much effort you do, if he is not into you, then you can’t do anything about it.
There you have it! These are just some of the reasons why your man pulled away from you just when you thought that finally found a great relationship. While most of the time, once a man is not interested anymore, it will be too hard to win him back, you may still try to do so if you really feel that you and him deserve a second chance! You go girl, there is no harm in trying, just a bruised ego, which will heal in time.